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[02 Nov 2004|04:30pm] |
so last night i went out for the first time in a really long time. for the past, oh month or so, i havn't really even wanted to hang out with anybody (with the exception of sarah.. she's the love of my life ____ duh). i couldn't go out w/ sarah bc my dad got home too late &she already left, so blake called &at first i was like "nah i'm not goin anywhere" bc i was in a horrible mood &me &my dad had been fightin so i was like "okay i guess". my dad said i could stay for a couple hours &he'd come get me. so i got there &lauren &blake were chillin. laurens new boyfriend,jimmy, came, picked us up, we went to Burger King, than back to his house. we were chillin &playin video games &my dad called to tell me i could stay at blakes. so than some dude, chris, chris mayo, &kevin came over &we chilled at jimmys. we left there bc it was boring, went to makayla's house &her &lydia were there. we decided to all go back to blakes &chill. chilled there for a while then everybody left, besides me, lauren &blake.
today kelly woke us up at 930 comin in blakes house screamin (__loser). so we got up, chilled &than brian &some other hot dude came over &chilled. than later makayla came back over &kelly left.
i dunno overall it was pretty cool, i guess. except for the face that all night all i got from lauren &blake was pity simply for the fact that i'm the only one out of all my friends that is single. which i agree does suck, but i dont want pity from anybody sayin "oh ill find somebody to hook you up with". fuck that.
well now i gotta go, dad's back to bitchin.
♥
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[28 Oct 2004|11:08pm] |
so figured i'd update.
surgery last week went pretty good. it hurt for a couple days, but now it feels better &all the swelling is going down :) i looked like a freakin chipmunk, it was horrible.
i told myself last night, i have to do good in school. i have to put more of an effort &that's what i'm doing. the past two nights i've spent like hours doing homework &studying. it's hard to pay attention on one thing for so long :-\ whatever.
went shopping today.. didn't buy myself one thing even though i saw like 10 things i wanted </3
this weekend.. not even sure what's going on. tomorrow.. wanted to go to the game but i doubt that'll happen. saturday morning, babysittin JT, like usual than saturday night i think i'll spend the night over blakes house for her birthday. than sunday is halloween? don't know what i'm doing for that...
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[20 Oct 2004|09:35pm] |
sometimes, it doesn't matter whether you care or not about the person. because; well you can just as easily not care as you can care. they hold the ability to hurt and betray you, and you hold the ability to do the same. yet, they are the ones that end up hurting you, and that's what ends up killing you. the fact that for once, you decided to pass the chance up, and actually care and be real..and it blew up in your fucking face.
got this off somebodys profile..
</3
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[12 Oct 2004|05:55pm] |
The sky is falling
And it's early in the morning
But it's ok somehow
I spilt my coffee, it went
All over your clothes
I gotta wear mine now
And im always, always,always late
And my hair's a mess,
Even when it's straight
But so what,
I'm better off everyday
When i'm standing in the pouring rain, I dont mind
I think of you and everythings alright
I used to think i had it good
But now i know that i misunderstood
With you I'd say, i'm better off in every way
not sure why i put that on here
just felt like updating
&dont feel like talkin about
all the bulshit goin on right now
</3 peace bitches..
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[11 Oct 2004|09:56pm] |
today sucked
guys blow
</3
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[07 Oct 2004|04:59pm] |
| [ |
music |
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Ashlee Simson - love makes the world go 'round |
] |
So yesterday was my birthday, as you all know. Angela got me the Hawthorn Heights CD &some other little things. School was good, Blake made me a delicious cake. Came home &went to Tiki Tiki for dinner. Dayum I love that place <3 So we came home &I opened my presents from my mom &aunt. My aunt just gave me money to go get some CDs &my mom got me a new CD case (since my other one is a piece of shit), a couple books, the Ashlee Simpson CD, new purses, some other little stuff. Next week she's takin me to get my initial ring. YEAHYEAH! The day was absolutly perfect (minus 10 minutes at about 6 oclock, but we won't get into that).
Today was great too. Lauren gave me my present &for some reason it was just a good day. But than at the end of the day I started feeling bad :(. Lauren said something about stopping by later, so we'll see about that.
This weekend.. hmm what's goin on? I have no clue. I know I'm hanging out with Sarah a lot, &Lauren at some point.
<333
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| summer romance |
[06 Oct 2004|05:57pm] |
megan brought up a great point in her ELJAY, &it just sparked something inside of me, so I figured I'd write a little something. Don't get me wrong, I'm not in a bad mood, the best of moods actually, just need to get this out.
They don't call it a summer romance forever. Some fall harder than others, faster than others, or just plain don't fall at all. In my case, I fell for a wonderful guy, the most wonderful guy I thought. Nowadays, I'm not sure how I feel. Somedays it's harder than others. I remember this one night, not too long ago, I was looking at pictures &cried for hours just at the sight of him. I miss him, but they don't call them summer romances for nothin'. I knew the summer would end, &i guess you could say i got in over my head, but was it worth it? Yes, every minute of it. Is it worth the pain & tears i cry now? Not so sure.. Do you call anymore? No, you don't. Is that alright? I guess it is. Life seemed to be so good, what ever happened to that. I used to look forward to school, &lunch so I could call you, &than I'd get home &we'd talk for a while, than after 9 rolled around &we both had minutes on our cells, we'd talk whenever we had the chance. Now, I look forward to going to school because of my friends, I don't call anybody at lunch, &the only person I talk to on the phone now is Lauren. But, no, I'm fine. Summer romances are a good thing. Even thought i'm hurt, i'm slowly learning something. I know that I shouldn't fall for people like i do; &should trust not so many people.
</3 liz
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[06 Oct 2004|02:02pm] |
today was absolutly amazing.
the end.
i love my friends &i love my family.
they are what made today awesome
xoxoxox
i'll write details later<3
the day can only get better
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[06 Oct 2004|02:01pm] |
today was wonderful.
the end.
i love my friends & i love my parents
&everything today was absolutely incredible.
xoxoxox
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[02 Oct 2004|06:35pm] |
well.. i guess because he IMed me earlier it set the mood for the whole day. & maybe a little help from the weather. I started thinkin & realized that even though I'm putting on a front, I still miss him. I don't cry to anybody anymore, but it doesn't mean I still don't cry. He was a big part of my life, & I know I have to get over him, but it hurts so bad b/c he told me he was coming home for the weekend of my brithday & now.. well.. since we no longer talk, all I'm going to think about next weekend is "what if we would have seen eachother this weekend". I think either way things would be very different.
Nothing changes the fact that I miss him, but I'm moving on, i think <3
& I GOT A NEW FISH TODAY :)
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[02 Oct 2004|06:35pm] |
well.. i guess because he IMed me earlier it set the mood for the whole day. & maybe a little help from the weather. I started thinkin & realized that even though I'm putting on a front, I still miss him. I don't cry to anybody anymore, but it doesn't mean I still don't cry. He was a big part of my life, & I know I have to get over him, but it hurts so bad b/c he told me he was coming home for the weekend of my brithday & now.. well.. since we no longer talk, all I'm going to think about next weekend is "what if we would have seen eachother this weekend". I think either way things would be very different.
Nothing changes the fact that I miss him, but I'm moving on, i think <3
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[02 Oct 2004|01:38pm] |
I feel sick today :(
But I've never been in a better mood. Things right now are looking up.. for the most part. he IMed me today. I'm not ready to even say his name yet. It still hurts, but one thing I'm thankful for are my outstandingly, amazing friends. I love them.
Mom wants me to go to grocery with her b/c I mentioned last week that a cute boy from school was there & now she wants me to go & talk to him :-\ I won't, but I can finally get out of the house.
I want to go to the beach.
I want to hang out with all my friends.
I want to tell my dad about my belly button so I dont have to hide it anymore.
MY BIRTHDAY - 4 DAYS.. DON'T FORGET IT
♥♥
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| amazing night <3 |
[02 Oct 2004|01:03am] |
Tonight was amazing. Today was amazing.
Went to school, it's not so bad anymore. Than went home with Angela. We hung out at her house than her dad & his girlfriend took us to Laurens house. Well Lauren wasn't even there so we were just chillin in her livin room watchin tv till she got home. Her mom ordered us pizza, than we went to the fair :)
THE FAIR <3333 we got there & rode a couple rides than we wanted to win some stuff. Some guy, who openly admitted to having a fiance that worked at the fair, tried to rape Lauren.. well we weren't having any of that (but he did give her a free puppy dog, & we named it after him) so we walked around & I saw Wayne.. wow that was weird. Than we walked some more, played some more games, talked to hot guys with south african accents ;) i wanted to take him home & keep him forever. I thought I would die when I heard his accent <33333333
note to self - meet more guys with south african accents. the end
That's about it, kiddos. I'm off to bed
exohexoh <3
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[26 Sep 2004|09:47pm] |
so this weekend was pretty lame minus tonight.
friday night i went with my sister to something b/c my mom couldn't go. it was ok i guess.
saturday babysat the cutest kid ever, like every saturday, than went down to the river. nothing exciting. actually pretty boring.
sunday, today, i came home & made plans with sarah. we went up to short pump to taco bell & barnes&noble than went to see napoleon dynomite. awesome movie.. made me smile.
well now i'm off to do some homework :(
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[22 Sep 2004|10:27pm] |
so recently -
school everyday; it's really getting old, fast.
today - school..home.. church.. home to highlight moms hair. i think i may highlight mine tomorrow night. maybe?
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[19 Sep 2004|11:51pm] |
since friday, i've done a whole lot of thinking. questions were asked & elizabeth, nonetheless, found the answers..
this i have concluded:
i am not meant to be happy, ever
& true love doesn't exist.
the end..
thnx. k. bye.
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[18 Sep 2004|11:39pm] |
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01. My hair is not my natural color.
02. I have lost my virginity.
03. I get annoyed when I don't get to finish telling a story.
04. I don't like to wear pink.
05. Sometimes I wish I could do something really, really amazingly well.
06. I don't drink a lot of water.
07. I have taken a hit of a cigarette.
08. I like musicians.
09. I'm such a clean freak.
10. I love taking pictures.
11. I have really tiny wrists.
12. I can identify some close friends by smell.
13. I'm so not nice.
14. I hate it when people complain about "your" and "you're".
15. I think dorkiness is attractive.
16. I have had a fake screen name.
17. I wish I had a fish.
18. I miss middle school.
19. I don't hardly eat..
20. I have a hard time making up my mind sometimes.
21. I wish my hair naturally curled.
22. I can't live without chapstick.
23. I can sing.
24. I like classical music sometime.
25. Striped pants are not hot.
26. I think Schylar is a really cool name.
27. I get sarcasm.
28. I wish I could look in a mirror and constantly be satisfied with myself.
29. I dont shift between being sleepy and awake, if im tired, i sleep.
30. I always vaccum.
32. I want someone to hold me.
33. I like watermelon flavored things.
34. I dont care about grammar.
35. I am a terrible liar.
36. Axe deoderant smells WONDERFUL.
37. I wish I knew how to speak in Italian.
38. Im pretty sure i didn't try to kiss a member of the opposite sex when I was in kindergarten.
39. I am learning to be happy wherever I am.
40. I have no idea what my school musical is about.
41. I appreciate honesty.
42. I need a manicure.
43. I love Dr. Pepper.
44. I twirl my hair.
45. I love kissing.
46. I own a cellphone
47. I want to learn to play the piano.
48. I'm not old enough to vote.
49. I forget about the past far too much.
50. I need to remember to be a teenager sometimes.
51. I want to see most of the world.
52. Sometimes I wonder what's going on in other parts of the world.
53. I hate being lied to.
54. I believe in a thing called love.
55. I go shopping usually once a week.
56. Today is Thursday.
57. I've read more than a 100 books.
58. I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
59. I HATE feet.
60. I like getting compliments.
61. I want the world to see me.
62. I think it's funny when girls wear so much makeup that their faces become incandescent.
63. I hate seeing kids that think they're different because they like Slipknot and shop at Hot Topic.
64. I wear too much perfume.
65. I wear pants more than I wear shorts.
66. I am tactful most of the time.
67. I'm afraid of spiders.
68. I get too attached to some people.
69. I'm usually on time.
70. I forgive forget but I don't forget forgive.
71. I think way too much for my own good.
72. My current relationship is teaching me a lot.
73. I like salads from McDonalds.
74. I read for at least one hour most nights before bed.
75. I talk to a lot of people I don't like because I hate being rude.
76. I sing to myself in the shower.
77. Funny guys turn me on.
78. I wish I were asleep.
79. I love Reeses peanut butter cups.
80. I always have to much energy.
81. I don't have a friend who has an outtie bellybutton.
82. I have driven a car.
83. There is no nailpolish on my nails.
84. I am unafraid to change, but I don't think I realize the boundary between change and utter transformation.
85. I wear black, thin-rimmed glasses.
86. Goodbyes make me sad.
87. I dont like ice cream.
88. I love cuddling.
89. I dont run when I'm bored.
90. I wish I were more attractive to others.
91. I worry too much sometimes about what people think.
92. I'm a billion times better than I was in junior high school.
93. Compliments make me happy.
94. I like long car rides with certain people.
95. I HATE when people incorrectly label me.
96. I wonder a lot who I'm going to end up marrying.
97. I listen to the things no one else cares about.
98. I can't draw from imaginiation.
99. TyPiNg LIeK diS anNoyes mEeeh.
100. This took too long.
so i had nothing better to do.. this is how lame i really am <3 steal it & bold what you've done..
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[17 Sep 2004|07:06pm] |
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so he's made it bluntly clear that he wants "us" or whatever we were, to be over. what can i do?
he wants me to find someone else, he wants me to be happy when he finds someone else, no i'm not hurt at all... not at all.
guys never change. ever.
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[16 Sep 2004|02:19pm] |
i've never felt so lonely
he doesn't love me :(
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forever_failed's journal
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